Straight familes...

[24601]

My partner and I have been talking up the R Family cruise so much, that several straight friends of ours have expressed interest. I'm conflicted because I really think one of the things that makes the cruise so special is the comeraderie with all the GLBT families.

I also noticed that the only poorly behaved child I saw on board all week was a kid of straight parents (and I can say this because he was traveling with our friends, his gay uncles!). Maybe I'm bias, but I really think that one of the reasons this cruise with lots of kids works so well is because GLBT parents are all parents by choice, and provide such thoughtful an caring parenting. We've been on 4 "straight" cruises, and the relatively few kids on board where much more noticeable (in a bad way) than on the R Family cruise. (Many of the straight parents seem to ignore their kids, and let them run wild on the ship.) Coincidence?

Do you all think I should encourage or discourage our straight friends (all are families) to join us on the cruise this year? I figure that if there are straight people on board, then they might as well be people we know, but I guess in my dreams, I'd rather have it be just gay families. What would others do?

Marie

[KelliODonnell]

Marie,
One of the things that I am most proud of about R Family Vacations is that we are accepting of all people on this ship. We certainly consider the majority of our passengers to be gay families, but within a gay family there are grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. There is nothing more amazing than to have all of us stand in unity as long as everyone feels accepted on board.

So I say, tell your friends that they are welcome as long as they are accepting of our most prized possession....our gay families.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Kelli

[Crazy aka Cheryl]

Marie,
Maybe if more straight families were exposed to our R families as unique and beautiful as they are. They will raise their children without predjuce, fear, or discrimination. Each one teach one . Each one reach one
Cheryl

[JLDseattle]

Hmmmm - I guess you missed our little guy who also misbehaves at times (even with the Mommies!!)...

Encourage your straight friends to come of course - diversity is great!

[margaret]

Good question! I agree that the kids where amazingly well behaved, so nice to see the queer parents doing such a great job with their kids!

I have a slightly different opinion about straight families on "R" cruise. I too would prefer the cruise to be just GLBT families, but understand that with aunt/uncles/grandmas etc. it's impossible to restrict it. So, I would let the cruise fill up as much as possible with GLBT families, then in the Spring, go ahead and encourage your friends to join us, if there is room left.

Although I understand Cheryl's point about exposing straight families...I'm guessing that those straight families who would be interested in joining us are not the ones that need the exposure!

Anyway, this forum is a great idea. It's so nice to be able to talk about issues that gay headed families face in a friendly environment!

Margaret

[24601]

I was trying to be diplomatic, but ended up not getting my point across well. By misbehaving, I didn't mean any of the kids who were doing normal kids things. All kids have tantrums, and times where they just don't want to cooperate. The child I was talking about in my original post was the only one I observed actually being a bully (picking on other kids, calling names, pushing kids under the water, using bad language, etc.).

Anyway, I appreciate all of the input. We'll have to think about it some more. I know that the bottom line is that is it good for all of us if the R Family Vacations company does well, since then we can continue to experience these great vacations. So, maybe Margaret had the best plan, wait a bit and see how the ship is filling up, then decide. I also agree that our friends are all very wonderful, accepting families who really don't need any more "exposure" to change their views. I don't think I would encourage anyone to come with us who was not already accepting.

Marie

[michelleb]

Although I understand Cheryl's point about exposing straight families...I'm guessing that those straight families who would be interested in joining us are not the ones that need the exposure!

Actually I have found it difficult to "expose" my daughter to gay families. Being in our 20's (I'm 27 and DH is 28) it seems that all the gay friends we have are either single or no where near the point of starting a family. I assume that it will be easier as we get older, but then my kids will be teenagers when they have little ones. I took my daughter to a gay pride parade this summer and let's just say that my two year old shouldn't have seen that much skin. I was too busy picking out the condoms from her candy bag to point out that some families have two moms or two dads!

Anyways on the original topic, I like that the vacations are open to all and I hope to take my family on one in the future. I can also say that I share your disgust in misbehaving children... I am always SHOCKED at how many people let their kids have the run of the ship like there are no dangers onboard! I can tell you that my kids will either be with me or with the camp staff until they're maybe, 16, 17, 21??? When they are old enough to not want to go on family vacations anymore... that's about the age I'll let them loose, or course as long as they check in every 30 minutes! :)

[Picfan]

I agree that I think you should encourage all to come. I am sure a lot of you know about a club called the Gay Straight Alliance in High school but it was new to me this year. Both my kids joined and it is an awesome club that is teaching kids acceptance of everyone. If you limited it to just gay families I think we would miss a great opportunity to make some awesome new friends! :)

[cebii]

We've encouraged several of our straight friends to come, and at least two are. We'd never invite people we didn't think would fit in and have a great time.

[WayneNYC]

My partner and I have been talking up the R Family cruise so much, that several straight friends of ours have expressed interest. I'm conflicted because I really think one of the things that makes the cruise so special is the comeraderie with all the GLBT families.

Marie

Hi all.....We've also been talking a lot about the cruise to our friends, and to our local PFLAG chapter and our Rainbow Families group. Many have expressed interest. I know that the majority of participants on the cruise will be LGBT families and their kids. The atmosphere is the same. Besides, bringing grandma and grandpa or the aunts and uncles provides child care to many who would revel in some "alone time."

We'll still be in the majority, I suspect, and the feeling of freedom and support will permeate the ship.

Keep smilin !
Wayne

[5.6.7.8]

I have been thinking about a reply to this post all day...

Just wanted to mention that behaviour issues can plague all families. My 2 girls are both challenging. Behavioural issues are something we work on all the time, but I don't keep them away from public places and functions to protect the general public.

These kids and their families deserve a vacation as much as anyone else. It seems sad that a vacation destination billed as inclusive would judge the parenting of challenging children.

[twokks]

Our world is too full of discrimination, whether based on sexual orientation or whatever. I would hate to see us deny people the RFamily experience because they are straight. That would make us hypocrits. If they want to go knowing that this is the gay family opportunity to really act like a family in "public", then they should be welcome.

[Colleen]

Good question! I agree that the kids where amazingly well behaved, so nice to see the queer parents doing such a great job with their kids!

I have a slightly different opinion about straight families on "R" cruise. I too would prefer the cruise to be just GLBT families, but understand that with aunt/uncles/grandmas etc. it's impossible to restrict it. So, I would let the cruise fill up as much as possible with GLBT families, then in the Spring, go ahead and encourage your friends to join us, if there is room left.

Although I understand Cheryl's point about exposing straight families...I'm guessing that those straight families who would be interested in joining us are not the ones that need the exposure!

Anyway, this forum is a great idea. It's so nice to be able to talk about issues that gay headed families face in a friendly environment!

Margaret

Hey Margaret,

I just wanted to share with you a quote from my mother as she got off the ship crying last year. She said, "Colleen, we came with an open mind and left with so much more!" :D

I had 16 family members come last year from my grandmother (who just turned 80) to my nephew who was 8 (parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins came too). I think this is a very important experience for all to take part in to actually see us as gay and lesbian parents raising our children in a loving and caring environment. Even the accepting family members of gays and lesbians need to see us in our family enviornments. This counts for those of us who don't have children as well. For them to see that there is no difference between our families and theirs. I loved sharing the experience with my family. It was the best vacations ever, and that was directly from all of my family members.

I look forward to meeting you on the cruise in July!! ;)

Best,
Colleen