Need Advise About Partners Parents

[MOMMIMI]

Hi There Everyone, I'm New To This And I Am Hoping That Someone Can Help My Partner And I. We Are A Lesbian Couple And Are Very Close To Finalizing The Adoption Of Our Daughter. My Partners Parents Are Very Upset Because We Don't Want Anyone There In The Court House With Us. My Partner Has Never Come Right Out And Told Her Parents That She And I Are A Couple And We Really Don't Want It To Come Out In Court For The First Time. How Can We Make Her Understand Without Hurting Her Feelings? If Anyone Has Sny Thoughts Could You Please Help. Thanks.

[ourtribe]

Congrats on the adoption:)
My partner and I have been in that court room twice. What a great feeling making it "all official". Funny though...it was such a journey to get to that point, the court room experience was alittle anticlimactic. Our children had been 'our children' in our hearts well befor this court house appointment. It was a special family moment non the less with lots of pictures to mark it. With that said, we did not have family there. We have both very supportive families but we did not invite anyone to join us. Looking back I don't regret that because it was realy, just signing papers! The event of being blessed with children happened many moons prior and that sentiment was felt through out our family. Now that was us. But what is important to you and your family is what needs to be focused on. If this event is a marker that you and your family are looking forward to celebrating together, you must have a discussion with your partner. Communication, communication, communication. The key to success on your journey with your relationship and more so when raising children.

The whole "comming out" stuff is going to have to be addressed... YOU ARE SHARING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER WITH CHIDREN!

It takes a village to raise children. Including as much 'healthy' support in your life is so important.

[cebii]

Do her parents think that she is adopting by herself? I'm with the previous poster that you should address the coming out thing sooner rather than later. Don't know if you can expect children to not shout out these things to their grandparents.

[stefani_ca]

If you don't out yourself now, your kids definately will, in more embarrassing way, probably by screaming "My mommies are lesbians" like our daughter did at a Red Lobster about 3 months ago at the age of 2/ YES 2... they learn early... so don't hide it. Or you will make them feel that it is a sin or wrong for you two to be parenting together.

[MOMMIMI]

I thank everyone for taking the time to write back with suggestions. And no her parents know that we are adopting together but she also isn't happy about the fact that our daughter is going to take both our last names. She thinks that it should just be my partners last name, so it just isn't going to court that is a problem for her, she is upset about almost everything at the moment. I'm just trying to help my partner get through this and be there to support her. My partents are so excited for us and love my partner to death, I'm glad to have them.And i can't believe what will happen if my daughter comes out and says something to her grandparents :)