Family Crisis

[MainEac]

Thought of nowhere else to go.
50 years old. Mother of a 12 year old loving, accepting son.
Out for 6 months.
Involved with a caring, loving woman.
Problem?
My own mother has turned against me. We can no longer carry on any kind of conversation without a personal attack on me. Of course the gay issue is not the only issue but it seems to be the one to have broken the camel's back.
My heart is breaking but I can't keep exposing myself to the venum. I am even wondering if I should stop my son from going there. I hate to keep him away from his grandparents but ...............
I guess I am just wondering if there's any advice out there?

[twomombooks.com]

Am sorry to hear that. Congratulations for being true to yourself and finding your path.

I also have a 12 year old son. Consider having a frank discussion with him about what's happening - does he want to go to Grandparents? Is he seeing negative interactions from your mother towards you? etc.

Best of luck.

Kind regards.

[anneyates]

We dealt with this for almost 10 years with my partner's family.

My advice: Kill them with kindness and honor your child's relationship with their grandparents. Be yourself, be your family, TALK about YOUR family and encourage your son to do so........don't allow your problem with your mom to become your child's issue.

Time heals.
People learn.
People take time to "get it"


My partner's family are STRICT French/Canadian Roman Catholic's....and this was not in the "plan"....and they fought loving our family ...and fought ......and fought.........now we are ok.......not PERFECT, but, bearable and simply put, we agree to disagree.

My children have NOTHING but admiration and love for their grandparents and I had to bite my lip VERY hard in order to make that happen.

While in adult company….just you and your mom, I would suggest letting her know that no mention of your "issues" are to be mentioned, talked about, or even eluded to. Just can't happen.

We did take a little "break" with limited contact to sort of get our heads on and sort out our feelings....it was not a punishment for them, but, we needed the time to learn how to deal with it.

Life is short. Let your mom know it is important to you to get this hurdle worked out and validate her feelings.....let he know you understand this is hard.....let her know you understand her anger and fear of the unknown....sometimes empathy goes a long way.

Hang in there....I really hope you find some peace in this…..some how………but, it is hard…


Anne

[Crazy aka Cheryl]

Thought of nowhere else to go.
50 years old. Mother of a 12 year old loving, accepting son.
Out for 6 months.
Involved with a caring, loving woman.
Problem?
My own mother has turned against me. We can no longer carry on any kind of conversation without a personal attack on me. Of course the gay issue is not the only issue but it seems to be the one to have broken the camel's back.
My heart is breaking but I can't keep exposing myself to the venum. I am even wondering if I should stop my son from going there. I hate to keep him away from his grandparents but ...............
I guess I am just wondering if there's any advice out there?

That is a hard one. Here is my advice.Explain to your parents that they are a very important to your son.That although they don't agree with your new lifestyle that discussing it with him is absolulty 'NOT ALLOWED' than have a conversation with your son. At 12 he will be able to understand more than you think. Explain to him that your parents are having a difficult time understanding your new life.That they may say things that are hurtfull or confusing to about you to him. Insruct him if they say things that make him uncomfortable he is to very respectfully tell them to please not talk about adult things with him. Tell him to tell them that he loves them and he knows that they love him and to him that is all that matters.Than moniter the situation. Communication is key.
The reality is that there are going to be more people in life that are not going to agree with our community.I don't know where you live. I raised my daughter in NYC which is supposed to be one of the most accepting of the Gay community There were rough spots along the way especially through the pre and teen years.
I do not for one minute regret raising her in an open gay enviornment
Honesty is the best policy.
Just not always the easiest path to take,
He will follow your lead. So as long as Mom is ok.
He will adjust. The people in your life will either accept your choice with time or they will become a smaller part of it.
The kids will be OK.

[joliehaven]

Time heals Everything......